Don’t Trust Women…

…For a lot of reasons. Maybe not for as many reasons as they’re telling each other not to trust us men, but it’s pretty close.

The reason to distrust them I’m referring to is concerning their fashion sensibilities in regard to males. We, as men, are all guilty of deferring to women on the subject of dress and fashion on every occasion and every quandary simply because they are women.

“What? You want me to wear that? Well, I suppose you know best, honey. Sure, it’s an animal print tuxedo lined with gold tassels, but you are a woman. You do know what’s fashionable. Who am I to argue?”

You’re a man. That’s who you are to argue.

Female apparel is a massive and sparkly black hole satiated by only the daftest of daddy’s credit cards. Hours die needlessly as women shop for outfits, ponder outfits and change their outfits several times before going out the door, ending the day, or taking a breath (women prefer a multiple-choice existence).  It’s impossible to keep up with their ever-changing world of style.

Though they may know their own gender’s tenets of dress, that most certainly does NOT mean they know yours. Break yourself of that mindset immediately. All women DO NOT know how a man should dress, what he should look like, or what he should wear. They do, however, have an idea of what they want you to look like, and that is very scary.

I’ve served on the front lines of the retail world. I’ve seen the unspeakable horrors of women tossing their man an armful of atrocities and the sheepish look stapled across the men’s faces as they emerge from the fitting room, bemused, embarrassed and oblivious.

You are not a Ken doll. You have free will and underwear that is not flesh colored. I don’t care how many times she tells you to tuck your polo into your jeans – don’t do it. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, only what she wants to do.

Don’t go shopping with your mom and don’t go shopping with your girlfriend – not until you’ve done your research, discovered what looks good, and you’re confident enough to come out of the dressing room, polo un-tucked.

Be strong.