Attn: Men Who Wear Graphic Tees

All I’m saying is be warned, they will go out of style.

Right now you may feel like a bad ass, covered in tattoo-esque designs and random scribbling that sound like Bible verses. With Strength, Valor, Dauntless, and Affliction etched into those murky fabrics, I’m sure the confidence goes up a notch or two when your T-shirts proclaim the virtues you possess to everyone at the club or UFC fight.

But have you thought this through?

Even if you did take twenty minutes and a magnifying glass to read the endless cursive sprawled across the garment, did it make sense? Or more importantly, is it something you believe in? You’re wearing it so we’re assuming you’ve aligned yourself with its ideals and quietly hope that people stop and go, “Look honey, John is supporting the immortal principle of courage. Good for John!”

I’m not trying to drag you down. Heck, wear the graphic tees, I’m not telling you to stop. I am, however, seriously warning you that by shelling upwards of ninety bones for Ed Hardy something-or-other, that you are unequivocally sending an open invitation to be mocked by anyone and everyone in the future who sees a picture of you.

Graphic tees are a fad. They came into style and they will go out. Just as you ragged your dad for sporting porn-star caliber mustaches, blueberry blue sports coats and ascot at his wedding, so also will you be mocked by the following generation who looks back at your old photos as they remark, “Dad, why does your shirt look like a SONS OF ANARCHY promotional poster complete with Ron Perlman?”

Timeless is not a word associated with these clothes. Again, don’t let me ruin your Affliction fun – now’s the time to wear them if there ever was one. But if you’ve cracked 30 years of age or you just want to grow up, change your shirt.